Why I Used To Not Want Kids

There is a fine line between venting and complaining.  I think social media normally serves as an outlet for complaining.  I've definitely been guilty of it.  We complain about a whole range of things, from the weather to presidential candidates.  Something I see pretty often are articles about our kids.    Generally, they are written humorously, but they always have a tone of annoyance.  I also see personal posts about how annoying the kids were today and hubby better hurry up and come home if he knows what's good for him.  I know I haven't been at this mom gig for that long, but I get it.  There are days when Maggie is just being straight up cranky and it seems like nothing I do can make her happy.  There are days when 4pm rolls around and I'm about ready to lose my mind because she has only taken two 30-minute naps and she's taking it out on me.  But when she does nap, I'm alone and my house is quiet.  I don't know what it's like for you moms who have 3 or 4 or 10 kids who are never on the same schedule and you don't get a second of peace and quiet until you go to bed at night, and maybe not even then.  I'm not pretending to know what your crazy life is like.  But whether you have 1 kid, 10 kids, or no kids, can we all just agree on something?  I don't think anyone really enjoys scrolling through their news feed and seeing just how obnoxious your kids were today.  I appreciate the freedom that we all have to speak our minds on various social media platforms, but to be honest, sometimes there is such a thing as being a little too open.  Now let me say, there are times I see things about how your kid got ahold of the tissue box and has strewn them about all over the floor.  Or maybe your son found the chocolate syrup and has filled a pan and is now trying to see if his feet will stick to the bathroom floor (I may or may not have done this when I was little).  By all means! Share it! I think that stuff is hilarious and sometimes we just need to laugh or else we will cry, amirite?  But I think we all know the difference between the little shenanigans our kids get into and the tireless complaining we see sometimes.  I think there is definitely a time and place for getting it off your chest just how crazy your day has been.  Sometimes that may mean reaching out on social media, but in a way that still makes your kids look like..well..KIDS and not like they are personally out to get you.  I am all for hiding in the bathroom with chocolate and calling your best friend and crying about how Junior crushed Oreos and Goldfish into the carpet while looking you dead in the eye.  Girlfriend, I get it.  I will surely be there one day very soon.  But I have to be honest about something.  There was a time not too long ago when I didn't think I even wanted kids.  You know why?  All the complaints I would see on social media.  So many women made being a mom look so miserable.  Why would I willingly put myself through that?  I don't expect sunshine and roses all the time, but come on, is it really that bad?  I never understand the whining because in reality, is anyone really forcing you to stay at home with your children?  You could always go get a job and hire a nanny or take your preschool aged kids to daycare.  There are plenty of women who don't have a choice.  They would give anything to be at home with their babies, but instead they have to work to help support their families.  And here you are, with the freedom to choose to stay home, yet you are complaining about how your kids are annoying you today and your husband is having a guy's night again instead of helping you with bedtime.  This did not sound like a life I wanted anything to do with.  Once God worked on my heart and I had heart talks with a few friends, I promised myself that if I had children, I would never complain about them on social media.  I didn't promise not to call a friend and vent.  I didn't promise to enjoy every minute.  I didn't promise not to get annoyed and lose my patience.  What I did promise was to speak encouragement.  I promised that I would always be uplifting and treat them with respect.  The last thing I want is for people to think that my life is perfect, but I also don't think it's necessary to bombard social media with more negativity, especially at the expense of my daughter and husband.  Being a mom is far from glamourous, but it's also far from miserable.  I don't love every minute, but I love my sweet girl.  In a world that is sure to tear her down, I never want to be one adding to it.  I want to build her up and be her biggest fan.  I want to tell her she's beautiful and smart and funny.  And I want the world to know it as well, and thankfully through social media I can do just that.