Birth Story

Well, friends, here I am again.  It's been awhile. Over a year to be exact.  A lot has happened in the past year.  I found out I was pregnant. With a baby. Then 5 months ago I delivered said baby.  So there's that.  I decided it was finally time to sit down and write (type) out my birth story, because Lord knows it's already starting to become just a big blur.  I will try to be detailed without being too detailed.

Let's start on February 4th around 1:00pm.  I went in for my 37 week check-up.  The doctor said everything was fine, but that I was already 3cm dilated.  She didn't seem alarmed by it, but also wasn't betting money on me coming back for another check-up in a week.  I went on with my business as usual the rest of the day.  Fast forward to 3:30am.  I woke up for probably the third time that night to use the bathroom, because that's what happens when you have a tiny human sitting on your bladder.  I drowsily walked into the bathroom, and as soon as I was about to sit down, I heard a faint 'pop' and what I can only describe as a splash of water onto the floor.  Being in the delirious half-sleeping state that I was, I thought Great...I peed on the floor.  But then as I went to get a towel to mop up the "pee", it kept coming.  I was obviously alert by this point, so I knew I wasn't peeing.  I probably spent 10 minutes Googling "what does it feel like when your water breaks" before I was convinced that's what it was.  I still wasn't having contractions either.  I called the hospital and asked them if I needed to come in.  They told me to call my OB.  I reminded them that it was 4am and my doctor's office was closed...duh.  So I called anyway and left a message for the attending physician.  I waited another 20 minutes and no return call, so I said screw it and woke up Justin.  It was a pretty chill exchange really.  It went something like this:

Me:  Hey. Wake up. I think my water broke.
Justin:  Are you sure?
Me:  Either that or I peed on myself.  But I don't think that's it.
Justin:  Okay.  I'll pack a bag.

I had been packed for weeks, but being the typical man that he is, he just needed to throw a shirt and a toothbrush in his bag and he was good to go.  I decided to take this time to put on my makeup and do my hair a little bit, because you know, priorities.  We finally left the house around 4:30.  On the way there, Justin asked me if I was having contractions, and I calmly told him, "I mean, it hurts every few minutes I guess."  Not at all the drive to the hospital I was envisioning.  We got there and they wheeled me in to the room and checked to make sure I was actually in labor, which I was.  They gave me a gown and a bag to put my clothes in and told me to change in the bathroom.  Again, super chill.  Once I was changed, I laid down in the bed and they got me all hooked up to the IV and whatever other medical things they were doing.  It was probably 5:00 by this point.  The contractions were getting a little stronger at this point, but nothing unbearable.  I had 12 years of orthodontic work, so I know pain.  I waited about another hour while watching Say Yes to the Dress, then I would say my pain was about a 7 or 8.  Side note: watching SYTTD while in labor results in thinking terrible thoughts about the women who complain about how fat they look in lovely dresses while sipping champagne.  I was crying a little bit so Justin went out to find a nurse and ask about an epidural.  I was under the impression it was a one-time shot that wore off, so I was supposed to wait as long as possible.  Once I was informed that it was, in fact, given through a port continuously, I was like SIGN ME UP.  Honestly, the epidural was probably the most painful part of the whole experience.  Mainly because all my contractions were in my lower back, and trying to sit up straight and keep still was rough.  When all that was said and done, it was around 7:30 or 8:00, and I was about 5cm dilated.  I figured I'd have awhile to go, so I tried to take a nap.  The nurse told me to let her know when I felt like I REALLY had to poop.  The kind where it's coming out SOON and you've got to find a bathroom immediately.  I got that feeling around 9-9:30, so she came in to check me and told me I was at 9cm and it was time for some practice pushes.  We did that for about 30 minutes (I think).  It could have been longer.  Like I said, it's a blur.  All I know is that I heard the phrases "I see a lot of hair!" and "Stop pushing! I'm going to get the doctor."  That's right...the nurse did all the dirty work.  The doctor came in to catch the baby and clean me up.  I didn't really care who did it, because at 10:37am, it was over.  Maggie Lane came out weighing 6 pounds, 10 ounces and was 18 inches long.   She was perfect and covered in white goo and made cooing noises on my chest and it was perfect.  When she came out, Justin said "you made that look easy!"  I guess that's because it really was!  I guess I was expecting hours of agony and screaming, but even throughout the whole pushing process I don't think I even uttered any sort of noise indicating I was in pain (which I wasn't...thanks epidural!)  I know it could have been super dramatic and scary, but to be honest, I would do that again over going to the dentist any day.  I feel like having such a great experience should be attributed to the fact that every single night we prayed for an easy delivery, and for some reason God granted that request.

So there you have it.  That's how Maggie Lane entered the world and changed our lives forever.  Another post to come on the things motherhood has taught me.