I have heard many couples, specifically Christian couples, say that divorce is not an option for them. For me, it is. Now, before you say, "WHAT?! YOU'RE MARRIED TO A PASTOR AND YOU WOULD GET A DIVORCE?!" let me explain. I believe in free will. I believe that God allows sin to happen for various reasons. I also believe that because marriage is a covenant made before God, to break that covenant would be sin. Putting all those things together: we have the free will to commit the sin of divorce, and God may or may not allow it (let's be honest, He's God. He could strike you with lightning before the words "I want a divorce" even come out.). The Bible does talk about specific circumstances in which God permits divorce, such as adultery; however, I don't think there is any situation too far gone that God can't redeem and repair. Sadly, adultery is probably not the most common reason people give for choosing divorce. I understand that in some cases, divorce is not mutually decided. The Bible talks about this as well and how you can't force your spouse to stay with you if he/she chooses to leave or if one spouse has a hardened heart and absolutely refuses to reconcile. However, a lot of reasons are selfish, personal reasons. He wasn't appreciative. We just fell out of love. She wasn't fun to be around anymore. If you're married, you have most likely been hurt by your spouse at one point or another. If not, then you're probably living in some sort of fantasy land where neither of you is honest with the other. If you're anything like me, when an argument happens (especially for the first time) you think, "This isn't what marriage is supposed to be like!" I think the world has done an excellent job of convincing young girls that marriage is perfect. I've even seen a quote that says "love means never having to say you're sorry." What??? Whoever made that up was obviously single and very upset about it, or an 8th grader who just got dumped. Friends, I believe this is the lie that causes someone to entertain the idea of divorce. When unrealistic expectations aren't met, we want an easy out. Unfortunately, many people enter a marriage with the mindset of "If it doesn't work out, we'll just get a divorce." Let me be clear about something: when I say that divorce is an option for me, this is NOT what I mean. When I married Justin, I made an unbreakable vow. I swore to him and to God that I would never choose this "easy out". Remember earlier when I said that I believe in free will? That includes the free will to choose divorce, along with any other sin. For me to say that it's not an option would be saying that I'm above that sin. No believer is above committing any sin, but by the grace of God and the sacrifice of Jesus we have the ability to conquer any sin. This includes divorce. I get tired of hearing people naively say, "That could NEVER happen to us!" Friend, that's a dangerous thing to say. I would much rather admit that without Jesus holding our marriage together when times get rough, divorce could easily wreck us. To me, that makes choosing to fight for our marriage all the more powerful. So what are we supposed to do when we find ourselves in this situation? First of all, be proactive. Cover your marriage and your spouse in prayer before it gets to the critical point. Second, talk to a trusted friend that has a marriage you respect. And last but certainly not least, always be in communication with your spouse. I have found that many disagreements can be diffused before even happening when we are honest about our feelings.
Your marriage is a gift from God, and it's worth fighting for.
Very Very Good!
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