Welcome

JK

 

Today at Target I had an excellent poop. Kristen was searching through a seemingly endless clearance section, and, recognizing the extended amount of unoccupied time I would need to fill, I told her I was going to my office to take care of some business and would catch up with her later. Of all the public places to take care of such business, I would have to say that Target ranks among the top, second only to the bathrooms on the first floor of the children’s building at Central Baptist Church in Round Rock (on weekdays, of course). I’m not sure how the female population handles such procedures during outings, but for me, and I assume most other males, there are certain places that you feel more comfortable vacating your bowels.

During the years I studied at The University of Texas at Austin, I had a few “private pooping places.” Now that I have moved on, I can comfortably inform you that the last stall in the men’s room at the Fine Arts Library, and the first stall in the men’s room on the first floor of the Geology building were my primary PPPs of choice. The Fine Arts library was nice because it was close to the Theatre building (where I spent most of my time) but large enough that I was less likely to run into someone I know. The Geology building is next door to the Theatre building, and this offered the perfect amount of privacy because the building is largely vacant due to the completely uninteresting subject matter studied there. No one lounges with their geology buddies in the lobby, because geologists do most of their socializing while playing in the dirt together, of which there is none inside the building. This is in contrast to the Theatre building, who’s “Atrium” (main lobby) was constantly full of aspiring actors, designers, and dancers who, let’s be honest, were probably homeless. All that to say, my building where I spent most of my time had far too much traffic to allow for private, uninterrupted, bowel movements.

Now that you’ve made it this far, I can officially welcome you to the Kellough Marriage blog. It seems that once you get married, there’s an unspoken rule that you must document the on goings of your life, whether they be mundane or outrageously exciting. My assumption for the reasoning behind this cultural standard is that mothers very much want to know everything that’s happening, and their children very much want to avoid recounting every boring detail via phone. A blog allows us to share all the details while doing other things, such as pooping, which would not be socially acceptable during a phone conversation, or a regular conversation for that matter. Just know that for my blog entries, you will occasionally get a topic that is slightly repulsive. Nothing worse than what you just endured of course, but I’ll leave the pleasantries for Kristen, who probably would never write about something as base as pooping, primarily because I don’t think she actually defecates. After two weeks of marriage, she has successfully hidden this part of her life, leading me to assume, as all men did when they were boys, that girls don’t poop. If you care about our lives, or hope to kill some time while avoiding work or studying, feel free to check back every now and then for the latest musings of Mr. and Mrs. Kellough.