Exciting news!

JK

Kristen and I have some VERY exciting news to tell you. We’ve already told a few important people that just had to know, but now we are ready to let everyone know that we are expecting our first child! In 5-7 years of course, but still, we are expecting that, in this time frame, we will hopefully have our first child.

One of the strangest things I’ve encountered since entering wedded bliss is the realization that, if we wanted (or if God wanted), we could be parents in less than a year. We’ve made the proper commitment before God, officially changed Kristen’s name, and now have the insurance to cover all the crazy things that happen in a woman’s body. So if we so desired, we could take the steps necessary to bring a baby into the world. None of the aforementioned things we have done in recent weeks are requirements to create life of course, but they are necessary steps to help making babies a bit easier, in addition to receiving God’s blessing with the whole “making vows” thing. All that to say if God so willed it, we could have a kid, which is an outrageous thought. However, even though the concept of us being parents at this point in our lives is absolutely ludicrous, it doesn’t mean we haven’t thought about it.

Our first child will be a boy and his name will be Bear. No superfluous middle name is needed with such a name, so he will simply be called Bear Kellough. Eventually, he may even drop the surname, much like our friends Oprah and Lil’ Jon. A moniker with such ferocity is sure to make our son’s life one for the history books, and we look forward to the bones he will crush in football and the diseases he will cure through the medical research he aggressively pursues with the same tenacity with which his namesake chases lost hikers.While other boys his age will be getting their learner’s permits, Bear will be trying out for the U.S. Olympic team. He will not make the team at first, not because he won’t be good enough, but because he will see the passion with which the older competitors have worked toward this honor, and he will choose to hold back at the last second, graciously waiting another 4 years before winning gold in the 400 meter freestyle swimming competition, the triple jump, and all around men’s gymnastics. He will not waste any time on the winter Olympics, understanding that competitions based on sliding down a hill strapped to wooden planks of various shapes and sizes is for lesser men.

His name will lead him to develop a mindset which does not take into consideration the possibility of failing, so he will excel at everything, especially winning souls for Christ. Billy Graham was pretty good at persuading people to follow Jesus, but Bear will so ferociously spread the Gospel that he will literally become the aroma of Christ; his peers will smell the musk of Salvation on his person and quickly submit their lives to the Lord without Bear having to speak a word. It will be quite impressive, but Bear’s greatness will be rivaled only by his humility, so he will quickly give all glory to God for any eternal victories that may be reaped. From birth he will understand that any success he has in life will be directly from the hand of God; we won’t have to teach him this truth, of course, but God will allow Kristen and I to tell him these things, so we feel like we were usedin some small way to create such an excellent human being.

Now, Kristen and I are fully aware that there’s no way we can plan all these things out. Even if God does decide to graciously give us a son, he may be small, timid, and have an unreasonable fascination with video games. In which case, we’ll give him the nickname Teddy.

The pleasantries

KK

Justin was correct.  I will not be writing about poop.  This time.  Instead, I will give you a more pleasant reading experience, since the primary readers of this blog will inevitably be our moms.

Prior to getting married, I really didn't know much of what to expect.  I don't have brothers, so besides my dad, I have never lived with a boy.  He's a pretty private person anyway, so I would hardly even count that.  I guess if I was expecting anything, it would be that living with a boy would prove to be a huge adjustment.  On the contrary.  It actually hasn't been too different.  The adjustment has been limited to finally realizing how much time I spend in the shower and not being able to sleep sprawled out diagonally across the bed like I'm used to.  The past few weeks have been filled with practicing my cooking, decorating our house, and working through all the nonsense of getting my name changed.  Oh, and starting my new teaching job.  Today was the first day of school and it went surprisingly well! I was rather nervous seeing as I can be quite a pushover at times.  What I could see happening was me nicely introducing myself to the class and getting a response of farts and eye rolls.  Neither of those things happened, praise the Lord.  One precious little girl told me I had a cool last name.  I told her I just got it a few weeks ago, and she was quite excited and showered me with congratulations. Ok, perhaps that's an exaggeration.  Overall, it was a smooth day and each class got easier as the day progressed.  We decided on a first day of school tradition.  As I am typing, we are watching Mean Girls.  Justin suggested this because no matter how bad I think my first day of school could be, it most likely would never be as bad as Cady Heron's...or hopefully Ms. Norberry's (think of the scene where she spills coffee all over her sweater).

I guess there's not much else to say about our first two weeks of marriage.  We will continue to document our adventures.  Thanks for reading!

Welcome

JK

 

Today at Target I had an excellent poop. Kristen was searching through a seemingly endless clearance section, and, recognizing the extended amount of unoccupied time I would need to fill, I told her I was going to my office to take care of some business and would catch up with her later. Of all the public places to take care of such business, I would have to say that Target ranks among the top, second only to the bathrooms on the first floor of the children’s building at Central Baptist Church in Round Rock (on weekdays, of course). I’m not sure how the female population handles such procedures during outings, but for me, and I assume most other males, there are certain places that you feel more comfortable vacating your bowels.

During the years I studied at The University of Texas at Austin, I had a few “private pooping places.” Now that I have moved on, I can comfortably inform you that the last stall in the men’s room at the Fine Arts Library, and the first stall in the men’s room on the first floor of the Geology building were my primary PPPs of choice. The Fine Arts library was nice because it was close to the Theatre building (where I spent most of my time) but large enough that I was less likely to run into someone I know. The Geology building is next door to the Theatre building, and this offered the perfect amount of privacy because the building is largely vacant due to the completely uninteresting subject matter studied there. No one lounges with their geology buddies in the lobby, because geologists do most of their socializing while playing in the dirt together, of which there is none inside the building. This is in contrast to the Theatre building, who’s “Atrium” (main lobby) was constantly full of aspiring actors, designers, and dancers who, let’s be honest, were probably homeless. All that to say, my building where I spent most of my time had far too much traffic to allow for private, uninterrupted, bowel movements.

Now that you’ve made it this far, I can officially welcome you to the Kellough Marriage blog. It seems that once you get married, there’s an unspoken rule that you must document the on goings of your life, whether they be mundane or outrageously exciting. My assumption for the reasoning behind this cultural standard is that mothers very much want to know everything that’s happening, and their children very much want to avoid recounting every boring detail via phone. A blog allows us to share all the details while doing other things, such as pooping, which would not be socially acceptable during a phone conversation, or a regular conversation for that matter. Just know that for my blog entries, you will occasionally get a topic that is slightly repulsive. Nothing worse than what you just endured of course, but I’ll leave the pleasantries for Kristen, who probably would never write about something as base as pooping, primarily because I don’t think she actually defecates. After two weeks of marriage, she has successfully hidden this part of her life, leading me to assume, as all men did when they were boys, that girls don’t poop. If you care about our lives, or hope to kill some time while avoiding work or studying, feel free to check back every now and then for the latest musings of Mr. and Mrs. Kellough.