I didn't sign up for this... (TGBTL #6)

Prompt:  what's the best advice you've ever been given?

As far back as I can remember, I have shied away from taking advice.  Sure, I'll listen politely, but rarely do I follow it.  This is especially true when it comes to unsolicited advice.  I'm the type of person who likes to learn things the hard way.  I realize this is probably a foolish way to live, but before you judge me, please take note that I'm still alive, so obviously I followed my mom's advice to not run into the street or go off with strangers.  I guess I don't take advice because I hardly ever ask for it.  I'm well aware that I don't know everything, but like I said, I like to figure things out on my own.  That made this prompt pretty difficult to say the least.  But after thinking about it, I remembered a few conversations I had last year with a few pastors' wives I'm close with.  These conversations hold the best advice I've ever received.  This was shortly after Justin and I got married, and I had come to the realization that everything I thought I knew about being a pastor's wife was wrong.  I was under the impression that signing up for a life in ministry meant that I needed to be as close to perfect as possible and that people expected that of me.  I want to share some of the concerns I brought to these ladies and the responses they gave me.  

1.  I am so introverted. How am I supposed to be bubbly and charming when I'm terrified of starting conversations? 

People will assume that because you're the pastor's wife, you already have enough friends, or they may put you on a pedestal without knowing you and think you're too good to be their friend.  You only have a small window to open up and show people that those assumptions aren't true before they see your shyness as coldness. 

2.  Because Justin is the youth pastor, does that mean that I will have to work with youth my whole life too?

No, just because that's his calling doesn't mean it has to be yours.  You may love it, but you have other talents as well.  Don't let anyone pressure you into serving somewhere if you feel God calling you to another area of ministry for awhile.  Supporting him and being his helper doesn't always have to mean doing exactly what he does.

3.  Sometimes it really bothers me that most of his summer is devoted to youth camp, youth mission trips, and other activities like that.  I like going, but I hate feeling like just another person he brought along.

Ministry is different from any other job.  Remember that while you do get to come and help out as a sponsor, camp and mission trip are not vacations for the two of you.  Think of them like business trips.  You will always be his first priority, but be patient as these events are still considered his job.  These activities always come with free time during the day, so try and carve out 15-20 minutes each day for just the two of you to talk, and then focus the rest of your time into building relationships with the students. 

I'm sure there's much more that I'm forgetting, but conversations like these have helped me tremendously as I figure out what it looks like to serve alongside someone with a ministry profession.  These ladies have helped me realize that I don't have to be perfect or let anyone in the church tell me where I should be serving.  I have learned that people will place expectations on me, but that doesn't mean I'm obligated to do those things.  I'm so thankful that they took the time to pass on some wisdom they gained from their experience, and that I chose to listen.  

One of these ladies (my youth pastor's wife, actually) just recently started a blog about her experience as a youth pastor's wife.  Even if you're not involved in ministry, I bet you would still find it encouraging! Check it out at www.fishbowleffect.blogspot.com.

Have a great rest of the week!

P.S.  Disciple Now is this weekend at our church. Please keep this event in your prayers, that everything goes smoothly and Justin can keep his cool throughout the whole thing :)