The seemingly unattainable pursuit

KK

I've recently been reading a book called "Pursuit of Proverbs 31" and so far I enjoy it.  It has prompted me to do my own further study of what it looks like to emulate this woman that has intimidated me ever since I learned about her in middle school.  For years, any time I heard a sermon on what it means to be the Proverbs 31 woman, I have rolled my eyes (on the inside), knowing that there's no way anyone can actually live up to her status.  The girl makes her family's clothes and bedding (not to mention the clothes she makes to sell), wakes up before dawn to make breakfast, serves the poor, is business savvy, all while still finding time to work out and get a few laughs in. Understand my frustration? I'm not sure I know anyone who does all these things every single day.  If so, she probably has a stunt double.  If you're anything like me, you read this chapter and feel like you're doing something wrong.  Through reading "Pursuit of Proverbs 31" and in my own personal study, there are a few things I have learned that helped to relieve me of this frustration.

1.  The P31 woman is not even a real person 

     

I'm not sure if I missed this memo in the hundreds of sermons I've heard about her, or if this is the first time I've ever actually read this, but regardless, this was mind-blowing to me.  I've grown up thinking that there was this girl who was so awesome that God chose to make an example of her in the Bible of what the perfect wife looked like.  Looking back, and now being married, I should have known that there is no such thing as the perfect wife.  In biblical times, Proverbs 31:10-31 was a common poem recited to young boys by their mothers to help them recognize desirable qualities in a wife.  Nowhere does it say that if you don't do all of them every day that you are a bad wife.  How relieving! For years I, along with countless other young women, have been stressing about having no idea how to buy and sell real estate or sew my own comforter!  If you don't feel like you live up to this persona, don't stress.  These verses are simply words from the heart of a mother to her son.

2.  The root of her "perfection"

I don't think it's possible for every woman to be strong in every one of the categories P31 discusses.  That's what makes us all different and unique.  However, there are some verses I feel that we should all be striving towards.  For example, verse 24 says "She makes linen garments and sells them; she delivers sashes to the merchant"(Proverbs 31:24 ESV).  I don't think it's essential for every woman to be a seamstress.  But verse 26 says "She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue. (Proverbs 31:26 ESV).  While sewing may not be a necessary quality to honor God and your husband, speaking with wisdom and kindness certainly is.  I think most of these verses are taken too literally or out of context.  In verse 17, it says that she dresses herself with strength and makes her arms strong. Does that mean that the perfect wife must work out every day? I hope not..  But I do think it means that in order to honor God and your husband, it is important to take care of your body (God's temple) and stay healthy.  A few other verses I think are vital to being a God-honoring wife are 11 and 12 which say "The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life. (Proverbs 31:11, 12 ESV). But I believe above all these qualities, what makes this girl so desirable is her devotion to honoring God.  Verse 30 is one we have seen plastered on bumper stickers, t-shirts, bookmarks, etc. but it is probably the most important quality we should be striving for.  It says "Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised." (Proverbs 31:30 ESV). There's no way any one woman can succeed at every single one of these qualities every day, but if we make it a priority to honor The Lord above every task we have throughout the day, I believe He will bless that.  Because the P31 woman puts God first in her life, we see that she is blessed in her tasks being successful.

I hope this has been encouraging to you.  I know I have been encouraged through this study, having been relieved of so much pressure put on me by my own pursuit of unattainable perfection. 

I'm not finished with the book yet, so I'm sure there's much more to learn.  But for now, I'd love to hear your thoughts about this! Thanks for reading!

Kristen

New adventures

New adventures

As many of you already know, Justin and I will be moving to Virginia in August.  He has been hired as the youth pastor at a church in a suburb of D.C.  Even just saying those words still doesn't feel real.  Many emotions (at least on my end) have come from the process of making this decision, and I just wanted to take an opportunity to be honest and share them with you.  Prior to March 2013, living anywhere other than Texas seemed like something I would be okay with for maybe a year max, just to say we did it.  That began to change when we went to visit friends in Georgia over spring break.  Over the course of our stay, my mindset of "Texas is the greatest place ever!" began to turn into "I could do this!"  At the airport waiting for our flight home, we began talking about the potential for moving out of state.  Flashback:  About a month or so before that, Justin had received requests from 3 different churches in Texas to apply to be their youth pastor.  We weren't sure what that meant, but decided to follow these leads, trusting God to shut any doors he didn't want us going through.  Fast forward back to the airport.  We remembered a church in Virginia that had found him last summer before we got married.  We had gone pretty far in the process but ultimately we knew it wasn't God's timing and decided to call it off.  Skeptically, I suggested contacting them again and seeing if they were still searching.  Turns out they had been looking ever since talking to them last year, and were very excited that Justin was contacting them again.  They offered to pick up the process where they left off last year.  A few Skype interviews later, we found ourselves on a flight to Virginia to visit.  At that point it still didn't feel real.  Things went well and we were invited back for a second visit and a congregational vote. Still, not happening. On July 1st, while preparing to leave for Spain, Justin tells me we're in. We're moving. I was excited, but at the same time, terrified. We came up with the word excerrified.  Here's where I share my emotions, so if all you wanted was the story, feel free to stop reading.  There were many points during this process where my fear told me this was not what God wanted.  What about my friends? What about my family? No God. I'm not leaving them.  There were many times where I found myself pushing away his hand of comfort in order to justify my feelings of doubt.  I didn't want to be comforted. I wanted to stay. My biggest fear was and still is missing out on the lives of the people I care about.  Missing weddings, graduations, birthdays, and family reunions, all because we are too far away and can't afford the plane ride back every time.  Although I knew deep down this was what God was calling us to do, I couldn't help but be angry about it.  I have learned that "where You go, we will follow" is easier said than done, especially when it's referring to picking up your entire life and starting over with no timeframe or clue how long He wants you there.  However, He is still good, and it's not about me.  He has provided a job for me, the potential for new friends, more opportunities for ministry, and Target (why am I complaining..). Over the past few days of filling boxes, meeting with moving companies, and making tough announcements to church families, I have seen his hand moving.  He is softening my heart to focus on the ways that I can be joyful there.  I will miss everything about my home state, but I am putting my trust in Him to someday make Virginia feel like home.  

Girls Bible study

KK

For about a month now I have been leading a girls Bible study in our home.  During this hour or so every Monday night, my dear husband has to find a place to relocate so as to not interfere with our deep conversations about nail polish and tampons.  I'm sure he doesn't mind.  It has been such an incredible growing experience  for me since it requires me to put in extra time going deeper in the Word and continuing to practice leading discussion.  We have been going through a study by Kelly Minter called Nehemiah: A Heart That Can Break.  When I first read Nehemiah on my own, I didn't get anywhere near all of the things out of it that she discusses! I love it! It talks about how Nehemiah's heart breaks for the devastation of his city and people and it drives him to action.  It especially stirs my heart because of the recent devastation so close to home.  When we first meet Nehemiah, he is governor living in a Persian palace.  Because of his position, he is rightfully entitled to all the luxuries that go along with it.  He could so easily have just donated money for other people to do the work, but instead, he has compassion on his people and goes to work re-building the wall himself with the help of others.  Throughout this study, there are many things I have learned.  I'll share a few of them with you!

1.  We need to pray for a compassionate heart.

     Jesus did not live life on earth simply praying for others and donating money.  He chose to associate himself with those that others deemed unlovely.  I understand that not everyone is called to live in another country, but we are all called to love others and place their needs above our own.  That may mean serving across the world, but for many of us that could mean cooking dinner for a family that struggles to buy food, sitting by the "weird" kid in the cafeteria, or just simply doing simple acts of kindness for those we see every day.  A good quote Kelly said is that there is a huge difference between giving to the poor and identifying with them.

2.  Being in the will of God can be scary and uncomfortable.

       There were multiple times where people told Nehemiah that what he was doing was crazy and there was no need to rebuild Jerusalem.  He could have agreed and gone back to his cushy lifestyle in his palace, but he kept his heart and mind on what God has called him to do.  This reminded me that God may call us to do something that doesn't make sense to the rest of the world, but there is no reason not to trust him.  He always sees the bigger picture.

3.  Rebuilding is much harder than building

       Nehemiah talks about the amount of rubble that they had to get rid of before they could build.  There even comes a point where he confesses that their strength was giving out because there was so much rubble that they didn't feel like they could rebuild the wall.  This gave their enemies ammo to use against them.  This one particular bro named Sanballat was always giving them a hard time. Jerk.  This could have easily caused Nehemiah to give up; however, he prayed and proceeded to station guards at the points of most vulnerability.  This is such an awesome picture of how we are to live as Christ-followers! We all have areas of vulnerability that we have given into at some point.  Some of us more often than others.  These areas, or "rubble" if you will, are the things that need to be dealt with between us and God before something beautiful can be built.  That's not to say that we need to get our act together before God can use us, but it is to say that these areas in our lives that we find we can't overcome without God's help need to be confessed and held accountable for.  Through that process, He can reveal ways in which he wants to use us.  The guards that Nehemiah sets up at the vulnerable spots on the wall is a great picture of the accountability we need to set up in place in our lives.  By giving a few trusted Christian friends the permission to ask you tough questions to keep you safe is a huge part of being a Christ-follower.   We are not meant to take on our struggles alone.

These are just a few of the things that have stuck out to me as we have been going through this study.  If you are looking for a great bible study that really digs deep into the Bible, I would highly recommend this one!  

Have a great weekend!

Kristen

Rookie mistakes

KK

Long time no post!  Well, I survived my first semester as a teacher.  It has by no means been easy, and there have definitely been moments where I thought about how happy I would be if I never had to go back, but the past 4 months have taught me many things. And because I love you, dear reader, and hope that if you are a prospective teacher you don't make the same mistakes I did, I will share them with you.

1). You are not their friend.

     I have learned that there is a huge difference between being friendly to your students and being their friend. I am a self-proclaimed people pleaser.  From day one I have been so concerned with whether or not my students like me. This has earned me the title of "cool teacher" at the expense of respect.  Remember: you can always lighten up but you can never get tougher.  

2). Make friends with the office staff.  

       There will probably always be a parent/co-worker who will have something negative to say about you to the principal about the way you are doing your job.  The closer you are with the office staff, the more likely you will be defended if that does happen.  My job involves more than just teaching students.  I am also in charge of helping other teachers with technology issues.  I certainly don't know everything about computers, but I do my best, and I have a few higher-ups to help me if I get stuck.  They also help the tech's at the other 4 campuses so sometimes it takes awhile to get problems solved at my campus. Naturally that's my fault so the principal hears my name fairly often.  Point being, had I made more of an effort to make better friends with the office staff, this semester would have gone a bit smoother.

3). Establish procedures in the beginning and follow through with them.

        For some reason I thought we had to jump right into the curriculum.  I spent one day on rules and expectations.  That day ended up being pointless.  The key is to figure out what your procedures are going to be before the start of the school year.  I kind of made it up as I was going and when something didn't work, I just stopped doing it.  I guess for my first year, trial and error was really all I had to go off of, but I probably should have talked to some of the other teachers about my ideas before I ran with them.

That's all I can think of for now, but I'm sure many more lessons will be learned (and hopefully taught) as this new semester progresses.

¡Viva España!

JK and KK

Something exciting is happening in our lives, and we want you, our very best friend (yes you!) to be the first to know.

This past summer, Justin went with iGo Global, a missions organization, to spread the Gospel in Paris, France. As an adult participant, his job was to work alongside teenagers from across the state of Texas as they took part in God’s ancient work of making His name famous. Seeing the serious lack of adults willing and able to make this valuable experience possible for these students, he knew it was necessary to return in 2013 when iGo takes a team to Madrid, Spain. After Justin applied and was accepted, Kristen felt led by God to apply as well, so next year, the Kelloughs will be spreading the Good News in Madrid!

Our heart is to help teenagers experience all of the amazing work God is doing, whether it be at home, around the nation, or across the ocean. We believe in the work being done by iGo Global and can’t wait to take part in just a small portion of the incredible things they are doing. For more information on this great organization, check out their website at www.igoglobal.org.

Some of you may be wondering why we would spend so much money going overseas when there’s work to be done right across the street. We are firm believers in helping our neighbor, and working in our nation to make God famous. However, we also feel strongly that there are people specifically called to work in foreign countries to bring the lost into relationship with Jesus. Not only are the current missionaries in desperate need of additional help to make an impact in their areas of work, but there are future missionaries currently walking the halls of our high schools. These young people need only to have one little taste of spreading the Gospel overseas to embrace the plan God has for them, and we want to help make it possible. In addition, those students who don’t have a full time ministry call will come back to their home towns excited about sharing their faith with the students on their teams, in their classes, and next door.

We are pumped about how God is going to use us and the four students from Gonzales going with us, as we join people from across Texas to make Him famous. We obviously would love your support in prayer, and could definitely use monetary support as well. With $7000 to raise between the two of us, we have a long way to go. If God is leading you to help us out, visit our fundraising website at http://www.youcaring.com/fundraiser_details?fundraiser_id=12817&url=igoglobalspain

Or, if you’re looking to just write a check, email us at mrandmrskellough@gmail.com and we’ll give you the details on who to make the check out to, where to send, etc.

Finally, for our friends and family that were planning to buy us gifts for Christmas, even if it was just a card or small batch of holiday cookies, a donation to serving God in Spain next summer would go much further than the baked goods (and it’s zero calories!)

Friends

JK

I’m going to go ahead and say what everyone is thinking: “Why doesn’t the ONB have more updates?! Kristen and Justin are the two most interesting people we know and it seems like there’s nothing going on, but that can’t be true. They’re the most interesting couple in the world!”

I hear you reader, and I understand. However, the truth is, we don’t always blog, but when we do, we prefer it to be interesting. Unfortunately, the slow paced life of small town living is not chalk full of fodder for riveting blogs. So, I’ll tell you about a few of my friends who have some crazy stuff going on.

We know this one family out in San Francisco, the Bravermans, and their life is all out of control right now. Adam, the oldest of four children just sent his daughter to college, after his wife gave birth to a baby girl just last season… er… I mean year. In addition, the family continues to work through the problems their son with autism is struggling with, and Christina, Adam’s wife, just got diagnosed with breast cancer. And don’t get me started on the stuff Adam’s siblings are going through: adoption difficulties, complicated racial tensions among a mixed race marriage, and a May-December romance between one of Adam’s sisters and her son’s high school English teacher. It’s unreal! Kristen and I usually have an appointment to catch up with these dear friends on Tuesdays at 10 pm eastern (9 central).

Also, we have an “adorkable” friend living in LA who just got laid off! She is a precious and quirky elementary school teacher with awesome bangs. Struggling to find her way after losing her job, Jess really doesn’t know who she is. And her roommates, three outrageously different and peculiar men, try to help her with the situations she faces, but their efforts usually just end up in comedic outcomes so perfect, it’s as if they’re scripted by a Hollywood writer! Even through all the ups and downs, they form a close bond, supporting and loving each other in their own unique way. Jess’s life is pretty fast paced, so we usually only get about half an hour each week to visit.

Finally, I can’t let you go without telling you about our brand new friend we met just two weeks ago. She’s kind of a big deal, but we were lucky enough to make her acquaintance last Wednesday night after church. We rushed home to make the appointment at 9 pm, and we were not disappointed! Reyna Jaymes is a MEGA country star living in Nashville, being in the business for over 20 years. Here lately, her career has faltered a bit, due in large part to the rapidly changing country market, led by Juliette Barnes, a young country/pop crossover artistthat pre-teen girls can’t get enough of. A rivalry has developed between these two women on a personal and professional level, and things are just starting to heat up! Getting to know these women is as easy as “ABC” if you’ve got the time.

Because Kristen and I lead a rather average life right now, I thought you should get to know a few of our friends that keep us entertained. If you have any friends you think we should get to know, make sure to tell us! Even if their stories are kind of old, our friends Netflix and Hulu seem to know EVERYONE, and they can easily catch us up.

The Traveler's Guide to Fine Dining in Gonzales, TX

JK

I had originally planned for this blog entry to be a long list of the things I love about Kristen. However, after considering how I would have felt reading a newlywed blog about how great someone’s wife is, I burped up a little vomit. So instead, in honor of the “Come and Take It” celebration happening this weekend in Gonzales (and because I’m currently watching a “Top Chef” marathon), I present to you The Traveler’s Guide to Fine Dining in Gonzales, TX.

The annual “Come and Take It” festival is a celebration of Texas history in Gonzales, TX, nestled in the south-central region of the Lone Star State, just east of San Antonio, and 15 minutes south of the giant Buccee’s in Luling. In 1831, the colony of Gonzales borrowed a cannon from the Mexican army. Six years later, they wanted it back. In the spirit of not being told what to do, the Texans refused to turn the cannon over, taking up the cry, “Come and take it!” In the resulting skirmish, the Mexicans attempted to come and take it, initially failing to reclaim the stolen property, only to later get the cannon back in a terrifyingly successful victory for them at the Alamo. And now we have a festival with car shows, a carnival, various eating contests, and a lot of things to waste your money on.

While taking in the history on your visit this weekend, there are a few eating establishments you won’t want to miss. The following is a list you will want to reference when meal times come around.

1.    Whataburger- There is absolutely nothing special about the Whataburger in Gonzales. It’s not the oldest, the biggest, fastest, or even orangest Whataburger in Texas, but it’s easily the best place to enjoy a meal within the city limits. And on Fridays and Saturdays, the drive through is open 24 hours!

2.    The Rodeo- The 7500 people of Gonzales are served by 15 to 20 generic Mexican food restaurants, and The Rodeo is easily the best mediocre Mexican food within the 5.1 square miles of Gun Town. Their tortillas taste almost like they were made on site, and on most days, the refried beans are thicker than diarrhea. If you only eat one thing, which you probably won’t want to eat any more than that, order the Chicken Chimichanga. Essentially a deep fried burrito stuffed with cheese and meat, this dish is not disgusting.

3.    Robert’s Steak House- Although “technically” it’s located 30 minutes away in Flatonia, Gonzales claims this restaurant as their own because allegedly, at one time, this establishment was supposed to be in Gonzales. Or, it was in Gonzales, but relocated. Or the owners one time visited Gonzales. Whatever. The food here is very edible, especially the baked sweet potatoes, and anything deep-fried.

In between perusing 50 or so craft booths selling the same generic Pinterest crap, and enjoying the music of unknown Texas country bands, make sure to hit up these establishments this weekend while in town for the “Come and Take It” festival.