I didn't sign up for this... (TGBTL #6)

Prompt:  what's the best advice you've ever been given?

As far back as I can remember, I have shied away from taking advice.  Sure, I'll listen politely, but rarely do I follow it.  This is especially true when it comes to unsolicited advice.  I'm the type of person who likes to learn things the hard way.  I realize this is probably a foolish way to live, but before you judge me, please take note that I'm still alive, so obviously I followed my mom's advice to not run into the street or go off with strangers.  I guess I don't take advice because I hardly ever ask for it.  I'm well aware that I don't know everything, but like I said, I like to figure things out on my own.  That made this prompt pretty difficult to say the least.  But after thinking about it, I remembered a few conversations I had last year with a few pastors' wives I'm close with.  These conversations hold the best advice I've ever received.  This was shortly after Justin and I got married, and I had come to the realization that everything I thought I knew about being a pastor's wife was wrong.  I was under the impression that signing up for a life in ministry meant that I needed to be as close to perfect as possible and that people expected that of me.  I want to share some of the concerns I brought to these ladies and the responses they gave me.  

1.  I am so introverted. How am I supposed to be bubbly and charming when I'm terrified of starting conversations? 

People will assume that because you're the pastor's wife, you already have enough friends, or they may put you on a pedestal without knowing you and think you're too good to be their friend.  You only have a small window to open up and show people that those assumptions aren't true before they see your shyness as coldness. 

2.  Because Justin is the youth pastor, does that mean that I will have to work with youth my whole life too?

No, just because that's his calling doesn't mean it has to be yours.  You may love it, but you have other talents as well.  Don't let anyone pressure you into serving somewhere if you feel God calling you to another area of ministry for awhile.  Supporting him and being his helper doesn't always have to mean doing exactly what he does.

3.  Sometimes it really bothers me that most of his summer is devoted to youth camp, youth mission trips, and other activities like that.  I like going, but I hate feeling like just another person he brought along.

Ministry is different from any other job.  Remember that while you do get to come and help out as a sponsor, camp and mission trip are not vacations for the two of you.  Think of them like business trips.  You will always be his first priority, but be patient as these events are still considered his job.  These activities always come with free time during the day, so try and carve out 15-20 minutes each day for just the two of you to talk, and then focus the rest of your time into building relationships with the students. 

I'm sure there's much more that I'm forgetting, but conversations like these have helped me tremendously as I figure out what it looks like to serve alongside someone with a ministry profession.  These ladies have helped me realize that I don't have to be perfect or let anyone in the church tell me where I should be serving.  I have learned that people will place expectations on me, but that doesn't mean I'm obligated to do those things.  I'm so thankful that they took the time to pass on some wisdom they gained from their experience, and that I chose to listen.  

One of these ladies (my youth pastor's wife, actually) just recently started a blog about her experience as a youth pastor's wife.  Even if you're not involved in ministry, I bet you would still find it encouraging! Check it out at www.fishbowleffect.blogspot.com.

Have a great rest of the week!

P.S.  Disciple Now is this weekend at our church. Please keep this event in your prayers, that everything goes smoothly and Justin can keep his cool throughout the whole thing :)

The girl between the lines- Week 3

This week's prompt:

Your go-to meal

Justin and my sister (accidentally) collaborated on my wedding gift.  I say accidentally, because they realized they had both thought of the same idea when it was too late, so they combined their idea into one.  They both asked about 10 ladies and some of my friends to share some of their favorite recipes, which got written onto cute notecards and categorized into a box.  The box was Justin's idea.  Just to brag, it came plain and he painted it red and added the designs. I was so impressed!  My sister got me an adorable apron from Anthropologie and was planning on putting the cards in the pockets, but like I said, they combined ideas, so all the recipes went in the box and I got the apron anyway :)

My go-to recipe is one from this box.  Obviously, otherwise I wouldn't have wasted your time telling you about said box.  It's SUPER simple and only requires 4 ingredients.  I've discovered that guys, or at least mine, like simple dishes.  Almost every time I plan my weekly menu and ask for his input, he suggests spaghetti or hotdogs. This is almost as easy. 

 

 

Enchilada Skillet

Ingredients:

1 lb ground beef
1 pkg (8-10) corn tortillas, cut into about 1" squares
2 cups enchilada sauce
2 cups shredded cheese (you can use any kind, but Mexican blend is best)

Directions:

Brown beef in a large skillet and drain fat.
Put beef back in skillet and add enchilada sauce and tortillas.
Bring to a boil, add cheese, cover and simmer for 10 minutes.
Done!

We like to eat this with chips and guacamole. 

This is seriously one of the easiest dinners I've ever made!  I promise you'll love it!

The girl between the lines- Week 2

This week's prompt:  Your favorite things about the holiday season.

 

I seriously have so many things that I love about Christmas.  My parents did a really great job of making it a special day for family and tradition, so those are the things I really look forward to this time of year.  My birthday is on the 19th, so they have also done everything they can to make sure my day doesn't get lumped in with all the Christmas celebration.  My mom always wants to make a cake for me and have a small "birthday party" which is basically just them, my sister and I (and now Justin) eating cake and opening a few presents.  Last year was my first Christmas to not get to spend with my parents (we were visiting Justin's family), but this year will be both of our first Christmas to not get to be with any family on Christmas day.  We will fly back to Texas on the 26th, but there's something about waking up on Christmas morning in the house I grew up in that I'm going to miss. 

 

I love watching old home movies that my dad was faithful to record every year until we got too old to be cute on film anymore, or he may have just gotten tired of holding that dinosaur of a video camera on his shoulder.  Like I said in my last post, I'm an early bird.  This has always been especially true on Christmas.  I don't care if you want to sleep in, there are presents under that tree and we are waking up to open them!  My sister had the mindset that no one else was going to get to them until we did, so what's the rush?  Every video we have includes me shaking her awake, assuring her there's only presents and no "switches" from Santa, and even once literally dragging her out of bed onto the floor.  Confession:  Before I woke her up, I'd go into the living room and try and make out any big unwrapped shapes sitting around the tree.  Not sure what good this did, but I think it just made me feel sneaky.  Before we got to unwrap anything, we opened our stockings.  Once we got to middle school, I had friends bragging about getting cell phones in their stockings.  I would get so mad that all I got was candy and lip gloss, but looking back I'm glad I wasn't allowed to have a cell phone until I could drive.  My parents are pretty old-fashioned, and I'm thankful for their values.  Anyway, then we got to open presents (finally).  In most cases when we were young, my sister and I would get the same toys but in different colors, just so we could tell them apart and not fight about it.  Within the last 5 years or so, we've started getting together with my older sisters and their families on the Saturday after Christmas.  The adults buy a gift for each kid, but we do a "secret Santa" style gift exchange with the adults.  We have a big dinner and play games and catch up.  I love this event because I don't really get to see my whole family that often.  My three older sisters were grown and out of the house before my younger sister and I came along, so we've always loved getting to hang out at holidays. 

 

Another thing that puts me in the Christmas spirit is snow.  We never got much of it in Texas, but we've had quite a bit the past few days in Virginia.  It's made me feel like a kid again waiting for the announcement that school is closed.  We closed Monday and Tuesday, and have a 2 hour delay today.  These kids are going to be crazy, I can feel it. 

 

We had a women's event at church last weekend that I got to be a part of.  The way it was set up was there were three speakers (including myself) who each had a conversation with Mary on her way to Bethlehem.  These conversations were just us sharing part of our story with her and encouraging her.  While I am really not much of a public speaker, I agreed to speak and I think it went pretty well!  No one booed me off the stage anyway.

 

Even though I won't get to see my family on Christmas day, there's a part of me that's excited about just waking up in a quiet house with just Justin and I, making breakfast, and opening presents.  My mom mailed our gifts to us so we would have presents from her and my dad to open that morning.  I am SO pumped about getting to see my family and friends when we go visit, but who knows, it might be nice to start our own Christmas morning traditions this year.  

   

A day in the life

Have you ever taken a picture of something you're doing, or even a selfie, and thought, "Ew, I can't post that... Retake!"  I do it all the time (not so much the selfie part, mind you.)  I find myself way too often comparing my life to what I see on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram, wondering why my life can't be that perfect.  The truth is, I would be much more content if it weren't for social media.  Don't get me wrong.  I love being able to stalk keep up with friends.  But if we're being honest, I do a lot more comparing than catching up.  I felt convicted on the other end of this situation as well.  Do I try to portray a life of perfection to others?  Do I make it a point to edit my life so that others will only see the good?  It's possible.  For that reason, I wanted to post what a real day in my life looks like. 

(I got this idea from Lauren over at The Albrechts Blog.  Check it out!)

We had a snow day today, so that means NO SCHOOL! We woke up around 6:30 thanks to the power going out. We normally have a fan going since I can't sleep in total silence, but because the power was out, that meant no fan.  Justin is not one to wake up that early, especially on a day off.  I, however, am a hardcore early bird.  I went downstairs and opened the windows and read for a good 2 hours.  It then dawned on me that if the power didn't come back soon, I would need to find some place to put the milk, yogurt, etc.  I loaded up a cooler and put it outside.  It was colder than the fridge out there anyway, right?   

When Justin finally woke up, he noticed that the roads were clear enough to drive, so we decided to venture out and escape our house that was slowly growing colder.  We went to lunch at Chipotle and bought some Christmas gifts at Target and Bed, Bath, & Beyond.  Since it starts to get dark here around 4:30, I wanted to buy some more candles to help light the house a bit until the power came back.  Justin insisted that we already have, and I quote, "a million candles."  I haven't counted, and obviously neither has he, but I'm pretty sure we only have about 5.  Anyway, we ended up buying this beauty, along with some pricey D batteries.  The power was back on when we got home....
 

 

Justin and I do something together called a HEAR journal.  HEAR stands for highlight, explain, apply, and respond.  For example, we are currently reading 1 Corinthians.  We read one chapter every day, complete our journal, and then talk about it.  It's something that we really enjoy and is a great way for us to share our thoughts on what we're reading.

 

 

We were both feeling kind of blah after an entire afternoon yesterday and most of today just sitting around, so we thought it might be a good idea to pump some iron at the gym in our neighborhood.  And by pump iron, I mean run/walk on the treadmill for 30 minutes.  It was moral victory.

 

I probably should have taken a picture of my sweaty self after working out, but I thought of this post while I was in the shower.  I thought a no makeup, wet hair picture would be just as good.

 

Did I even bother to make the bed today? Nope.

 

 

We are expecting more snow tomorrow (which hopefully means another lazy day at home!) but it also meant I needed to shovel the existing snow off my car so my windshield doesn't break.  Does that even happen?  I've heard of it happening with carports or garages.  I'm new at this, people!

 

 

As I'm writing, Justin is setting up one of our many games for us to play.  We like to play tabletop games, or "nerd games" as I lovingly call them.  I believe the one he is setting up is called Revolver.

 

 

Well friends, that was my day.  I wanted to be as real as possible, and hopefully I did that!  There was nothing extraordinary about our day, but it made me appreciate the little things, like electricity.  Peeing in a dark bathroom is a terrifying experience.


Have a great week! Stay warm!

Kristen

 

 

 

 

The girl between the lines- week 1

This is the first time I've done any sort of bloggish (if that's a word) type of thing, but here goes!

The prompt says: share a photo of you and 3 things you love about yourself.

I've always hated the part in an interview where they ask you what your strengths are and what you can bring to the job.  I guess I'm just not great at bragging about myself.  Oh well.  It's worth a try!

1.  I love my sense of humor.  I can laugh at pretty much anything.  It's probably the most immature form of humor one can have.  I'd describe it as a mix of sarcasm, wit, and anything involving poop.

2.  I'm extremely compassionate.  I love that I care about people's feelings.  Sometimes I care a little too much, and get overly concerned that I came across as rude during a conversation.  I can usually make someone who is upset feel better.

3.  I'm really good with kids.  Thankfully, because I teach 3 and 4 year olds every day.  I love that I can be silly and they just think it's the best thing ever.  I get smothered in hugs, open pudding cups, apply band-aids, and teach kids the beginning stages of reading and writing.  I love every minute of it!


Looking forward to next week's prompt!

Kristen

Feelings

KK

Feelings are interesting things.  I have yet to meet someone who can control what they feel.  Sure, we may deny or suppress them, but we can't keep them from happening.  Some people have more or less than others, but regardless, they exist.  At the same time you can't hold feelings at bay, you can't force them to show up when you want them.  It's happened in many a movie, where there's nothing "wrong" with the guy, she just doesn't feel anything for him.  I think the same can be said in our (or at least my) relationship with God.  We go through seasons in which we may be totally excited to spend time in prayer and reading the Bible for a little while, and then for one reason or another, the excitement dwindles.  I've gone through both seasons, and if I'm being honest, I'd have to say that I'm currently in the latter.  I'm in a season where spending time with God for prolonged periods of time is an obligation more than anything.  I don't find the same joy in following him like I used to.  I was talking to a friend the other day who said she's struggling with the same thing, and was sharing her frustration with me.  We both know the goal. We know how we are SUPPOSED to feel.  But we don't.  There's no switch that can be flipped on to make everything exciting again.  I know I can't control my feelings, but He can.  My problem isn't my lack of feeling, it's my lack of prayer.  I have yet to ask Him to make me excited again.  (I'm sure some of you are gasping and judging at that...so be it). See, girls have this problem with wanting to be in a bad mood sometimes.  Don't try and talk us out of it, gentlemen.  It will blow over, but for some reason we savor it while it lasts.  But whatever storm I'm in started to clear up this morning.  This morning at the gym I decided to pray something simple.  

"I know I've been avoiding you and not dealing with things I need to.  I need to be reminded that you want to be around me."  

I switched my Pandora station and the first song that played was "My Dear" by Bethel.  If you aren't familiar with that song, here it is: 

My Dear

The lyrics quote Song of Solomon, which, in short, says he is totally blown away by this girl.  It also just simply says "I love you, my dear."  That's what Justin calls me.  He came to me in my moment of doubt and spoke to me using words already so personal to my heart.  Friends, we serve a personal God.  One who loves us and pursues us in our darkest and loneliest moments.  He reminded me that He will always fight for my affection, but will never force it.  

We can't change how we feel, but He can.

Update

KK

I know it's been awhile since either one of us have written about what's going on in our lives, so for that, I apologize.  We haven't necessarily been too busy to write, but every time I've gone to write something, it has sounded more like an "I miss Texas" post than a "here's what's new in Virginia" post.  So here is (hopefully) my final attempt at updating you on the past 3 months.

The first thing I did when we moved in was decorate.  I can't stand living in a house that doesn't look like it's, well, lived in.  That took me less than a month, which has surprised many people.  For some reason, I think people feel the need to ask how we're getting "settled in". I think they expect our house to be full of unopened boxes and a freezer full of TV dinners. I have made a note to never use that term when welcoming anyone new to town.  

We went and got our new licenses shortly after moving.  The DMV was delightful as usual, full of people wanting to renew their vanity plates (which apparently are super popular here) and a mom loudly reprimanding her son for leaving his seat to go to the water fountain.  We also were unaware that showing teeth in your picture is not allowed, so we both ended up with pictures that make us look like super creeps.  Side note about vanity plates:  we have seen some great ones, including ITS PAPA, ENJOYN ME, L8 MOMMY, and UR SLOW.  I'm thinking about getting one that says KKK4LYFE (in case you didn't know, those are my unfortunate initials). 

I was able to coach volleyball at a private school in town, and even though our season was less than extraordinary, I loved it.  I've also been able to do photography on a more professional level.  Both of these things have been goals of mine for quite some time now, and I'm super excited that I've gotten these opportunities!  

Justin is right in the middle of planning for D-Now in January, as well as camp and our mission trip to Philadelphia in July.  That's keeping him pretty busy.  We've joined a weekly home group, which has been nice to get to hang out with other couples and do a Bible study together.  

My parents came to visit in the beginning of October, and my sister will be here on Tuesday and stay through Friday.  We are also really looking forward to coming home for Christmas for a week, when we can reunite with family, friends, and Whataburger.  

Thanks for reading.  Have a great Thanksgiving break!