This weekend I have the honor of standing beside one of my best friends as she marries the love of her life. I am so excited for all the festivities leading up to the big day, but even more than that, I am thrilled for her to begin this next chapter in her life. August 11th will mark Justin and I's two year anniversary. It seems like just yesterday we were the ones on the stage promising ourselves to each other. I have learned so much about what that means in these two short years, so I would love to share my heart with any bride-to-be, and if it were possible, myself two years ago.
Dear sweet bride,
The day you've been dreaming of is finally here. Take it all in. It will be over before you know it. My encouragement to you is not simply for this day, but for the days to come. I know people have probably told you that marriage is hard, and you've probably thought, Maybe for you. We're different. Please hear me. They are right. It is hard. But an easy marriage is one in which there is little to no vulnerability. When two people are completely open, it gets messy. But in those messy moments, you will find that trust and respect are built. Can I let you in on another little secret? There will be days that you won't be happy. There will be days when you look at your husband and wonder who this man is that you married. You will wonder if you made a mistake. You didn't, and neither did he. Most importantly, neither did God. Would you believe me if I told you that God did not join the two of you together for the sole purpose of making you happy? His desire is to make you holy, more like Him. For that to happen, it requires you to be stretched, and sometimes, dare I say, unhappy. But there is always joy. Joy does not rely on circumstances or feelings. On those days when you find you are incapable of feeling love for your husband, hold on to this joy. It will get better. As for the expectations you have going into this lifelong commitment, let them go. Or at least talk about them. Let no expectation go unspoken. Unspoken expectations almost always turn into broken expectations, and if you're anything like me, cause feelings of he should have just known. A silent resentment will set in, and it will destroy you. Don't let it. Hold on to joy. And always encourage. Never let a day go by without speaking an encouraging word. I know I have so much more to learn, and so will you. Today, sweet bride, you are beautiful. Your marriage is being prayed for. Give thanks today and every day for the man waiting for you at the end of the aisle. He is a gift. Treat him as such.
Your friend,
Kristen
