The seemingly unattainable pursuit

KK

I've recently been reading a book called "Pursuit of Proverbs 31" and so far I enjoy it.  It has prompted me to do my own further study of what it looks like to emulate this woman that has intimidated me ever since I learned about her in middle school.  For years, any time I heard a sermon on what it means to be the Proverbs 31 woman, I have rolled my eyes (on the inside), knowing that there's no way anyone can actually live up to her status.  The girl makes her family's clothes and bedding (not to mention the clothes she makes to sell), wakes up before dawn to make breakfast, serves the poor, is business savvy, all while still finding time to work out and get a few laughs in. Understand my frustration? I'm not sure I know anyone who does all these things every single day.  If so, she probably has a stunt double.  If you're anything like me, you read this chapter and feel like you're doing something wrong.  Through reading "Pursuit of Proverbs 31" and in my own personal study, there are a few things I have learned that helped to relieve me of this frustration.

1.  The P31 woman is not even a real person 

     

I'm not sure if I missed this memo in the hundreds of sermons I've heard about her, or if this is the first time I've ever actually read this, but regardless, this was mind-blowing to me.  I've grown up thinking that there was this girl who was so awesome that God chose to make an example of her in the Bible of what the perfect wife looked like.  Looking back, and now being married, I should have known that there is no such thing as the perfect wife.  In biblical times, Proverbs 31:10-31 was a common poem recited to young boys by their mothers to help them recognize desirable qualities in a wife.  Nowhere does it say that if you don't do all of them every day that you are a bad wife.  How relieving! For years I, along with countless other young women, have been stressing about having no idea how to buy and sell real estate or sew my own comforter!  If you don't feel like you live up to this persona, don't stress.  These verses are simply words from the heart of a mother to her son.

2.  The root of her "perfection"

I don't think it's possible for every woman to be strong in every one of the categories P31 discusses.  That's what makes us all different and unique.  However, there are some verses I feel that we should all be striving towards.  For example, verse 24 says "She makes linen garments and sells them; she delivers sashes to the merchant"(Proverbs 31:24 ESV).  I don't think it's essential for every woman to be a seamstress.  But verse 26 says "She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue. (Proverbs 31:26 ESV).  While sewing may not be a necessary quality to honor God and your husband, speaking with wisdom and kindness certainly is.  I think most of these verses are taken too literally or out of context.  In verse 17, it says that she dresses herself with strength and makes her arms strong. Does that mean that the perfect wife must work out every day? I hope not..  But I do think it means that in order to honor God and your husband, it is important to take care of your body (God's temple) and stay healthy.  A few other verses I think are vital to being a God-honoring wife are 11 and 12 which say "The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life. (Proverbs 31:11, 12 ESV). But I believe above all these qualities, what makes this girl so desirable is her devotion to honoring God.  Verse 30 is one we have seen plastered on bumper stickers, t-shirts, bookmarks, etc. but it is probably the most important quality we should be striving for.  It says "Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised." (Proverbs 31:30 ESV). There's no way any one woman can succeed at every single one of these qualities every day, but if we make it a priority to honor The Lord above every task we have throughout the day, I believe He will bless that.  Because the P31 woman puts God first in her life, we see that she is blessed in her tasks being successful.

I hope this has been encouraging to you.  I know I have been encouraged through this study, having been relieved of so much pressure put on me by my own pursuit of unattainable perfection. 

I'm not finished with the book yet, so I'm sure there's much more to learn.  But for now, I'd love to hear your thoughts about this! Thanks for reading!

Kristen

New adventures

New adventures

As many of you already know, Justin and I will be moving to Virginia in August.  He has been hired as the youth pastor at a church in a suburb of D.C.  Even just saying those words still doesn't feel real.  Many emotions (at least on my end) have come from the process of making this decision, and I just wanted to take an opportunity to be honest and share them with you.  Prior to March 2013, living anywhere other than Texas seemed like something I would be okay with for maybe a year max, just to say we did it.  That began to change when we went to visit friends in Georgia over spring break.  Over the course of our stay, my mindset of "Texas is the greatest place ever!" began to turn into "I could do this!"  At the airport waiting for our flight home, we began talking about the potential for moving out of state.  Flashback:  About a month or so before that, Justin had received requests from 3 different churches in Texas to apply to be their youth pastor.  We weren't sure what that meant, but decided to follow these leads, trusting God to shut any doors he didn't want us going through.  Fast forward back to the airport.  We remembered a church in Virginia that had found him last summer before we got married.  We had gone pretty far in the process but ultimately we knew it wasn't God's timing and decided to call it off.  Skeptically, I suggested contacting them again and seeing if they were still searching.  Turns out they had been looking ever since talking to them last year, and were very excited that Justin was contacting them again.  They offered to pick up the process where they left off last year.  A few Skype interviews later, we found ourselves on a flight to Virginia to visit.  At that point it still didn't feel real.  Things went well and we were invited back for a second visit and a congregational vote. Still, not happening. On July 1st, while preparing to leave for Spain, Justin tells me we're in. We're moving. I was excited, but at the same time, terrified. We came up with the word excerrified.  Here's where I share my emotions, so if all you wanted was the story, feel free to stop reading.  There were many points during this process where my fear told me this was not what God wanted.  What about my friends? What about my family? No God. I'm not leaving them.  There were many times where I found myself pushing away his hand of comfort in order to justify my feelings of doubt.  I didn't want to be comforted. I wanted to stay. My biggest fear was and still is missing out on the lives of the people I care about.  Missing weddings, graduations, birthdays, and family reunions, all because we are too far away and can't afford the plane ride back every time.  Although I knew deep down this was what God was calling us to do, I couldn't help but be angry about it.  I have learned that "where You go, we will follow" is easier said than done, especially when it's referring to picking up your entire life and starting over with no timeframe or clue how long He wants you there.  However, He is still good, and it's not about me.  He has provided a job for me, the potential for new friends, more opportunities for ministry, and Target (why am I complaining..). Over the past few days of filling boxes, meeting with moving companies, and making tough announcements to church families, I have seen his hand moving.  He is softening my heart to focus on the ways that I can be joyful there.  I will miss everything about my home state, but I am putting my trust in Him to someday make Virginia feel like home.